Thus begins my sleep rant...
Well, I am ready to truly "blog" because motherhood is a world of second guessing myself. I have lived my life as a confident female (thanks to amazing strength and love from my parents) always willing to be the leader and make decsions. I have hardly ever felt the need to second guess my decision making and need for efficiency:) So motherhood has really thrown me for a loop. God has been my guide and comforter. My faith has been our one true constant as we begin parenthood and I cannot imagine where I would be without it.
Ayla is a "textbook" baby. Cries when she is hungry, has gas, and is tired. Otherwise she is happy and calm. We are truly blessed. Feeding Ayla has been going great, she even takes a bottle about once a day and still loves breasfeeding. However, sleep is the area we struggle with...
Why is it whenever you tell people you just had a baby the first thing (or maybe second behind how much did she weigh?) is how does she sleep? Well, now as a mother of an 8 week old newborn I know :) It basically consumes me. Is she getting enough? Should I put her on a schedule? Why won't she sleep more then 20 minutes while napping in her bassinet, yet at night will sleep in there for 4 plus hours? How can I teach her to soothe herself? I will take any sleep advise you all have for me, mothers, fathers, or not.
We committed the parent "no no" and had her in the bed with us. This was great, she slept almost 6 hours at a time. Yet during the day mommy got nothing done because she would only nap on my chest (or whoever was willing- grandma, dad...). Brett and I also were getting too afraid of the co-sleeping risk factors.
So two weeks ago we started the transition into her bassinet, trying to avoid the age old cry it out method. Come to find out, we only had to do this once and all was good.
- Between 9 and 10 we rock her to sleep after a bed time routine of bath, eat, read a story. We place her in the bassinet, she stirs about 20 mins later and we give her the binky (which she has a hard time keeping in her mouth because we waited so long to present it to her due to my fear of "nipple confusion" - this is my only regret so far, waiting so long to give her a binky, we should have done it from day one), so due to this binky issue I must be vigilent for awhile until she sucks herself into dream land.
- She will then sleep a good 4 or 5 hours, which is great. I feed her and about 70% of the time so far she goes right back to sleep in her bassinet with the help of the binky, but sometimes we need to rock her back to sleep. This second stint in the bassinet only lasts 2 or 3 hours though. We are getting there though. I am happy with this.
- So here is where I need advise... NAPS. She will sleep in her swing, but motionless sleep is what she really needs to be rested. As I said she will sleep for about 20 mins in her bassinet before I hear a huge wail from the bedroom and I must rescue her, she will NOT go back to sleep on her own or with the binky, so at this point I lay down with her, sometimes I sleep, sometimes I watch Oprah :) I am hoping this is just a phase and as she gets more comfortable with soothing herself (which is an issue in itself because I don't know how to teach her to do that without her crying for what seems like too long and this too me is torture, my breasts start to leak and I begin sobbing myself).
- I have read book after book, which to anyone about to have a baby, DON'T read any books on sleep, do what works for you! You just drive yourself crazy with all the different recomendations. I know there are people out there who can lay there babies down and they fall asleep on their own, but very few of them. I have no problem putting my baby to sleep, helping her a bit. Parenting is about daily, second by second sacrifices and I am happy to make those for my precious little one. But she needs to be rested to be happy, so that is why there is a nap dilemma.
5 comments:
I was going to recommend a book that my friends swear by...however, it sounds like you've read a lot already. :)
Instead, I would just encourage you to be "tough." Refrain from laying down with her during the daytime (Brett too) and eventually she will get so tired that she'll have to nap for longer than just 20 minutes. It might make for a couple of loooooong days (while you're trying this), but in the end it will be worth it.
If it's any consolation, mothers everywhere know your pain and frustration. Continue to go to Christ for your strength and He will renew you everytime!
You're a wonderful mother Alicia and Ayla is so lucky to have you! Before you know it, you'll be wishing your little one was still a baby. Hang in there...and know that there are people out there praying for you (like me). :)
Hey Alicia! I just wanted to let you know that it WILL get better. Even when his buddies were taking 2 super long naps a day, Luke was taking 3 or 4 30 minute naps. I was so frustrated. We used to rock him to sleep which was probably the problem, but now that he's too big to rock, I totally miss it.
We also did the "no-no" of letting them sleep with us. As of two weeks ago, our bed is kid free! Our bed was getting kind of crowded with the 4 of us all sleeping together. Even though Tim and I don't get kicked in the head in the middle of the night, we kind of miss it.
The fact that you're stressing out about it show that you are a great mother. Just remember, it will all work out in time. -Lindsey
Hi Alicia--I stopped by your blog via Pells blog and I totally sympathize with your pains. I remember Veronica hitting a block around 8-9 weeks old with naps, b/c her eyesight started to come in. She was too interested in what was happening in the world and didn't want to miss out. We used a "Shushing" CD Ben made. He simply said, "SHHHHHH" into the mic of the computer & looped it, which equaled 76 minutes of white noise and Veronica would go to sleep that way.
Do what you feel is best and I agree--a lot of those books can just drive you more insane and second guess your gut instinct. Follow it, b/c God has given you this wonderful job of being a mom to Ayla and no one else could be a better mom to her.
Kamille Scellick
Say Hi to Oprah for me :). I used to watch it along with Ellen with Emma cuddled on my chest almost every day as she wouldn't let me put her down. Sometimes I loved it, sometimes I just wanted to get a few things done or even just take a shower. Next time you are watching Oprah with her give her a great big kiss from John, Emma and I. Can't wait to see her again!!
My baby just turned 1 and looking back I wish I would have stressed less about his sleeping. He was exactly the same way - only wanted me to hold him for naps, but was a champ sleeper at night. Although it doesn't seem like it, this phase will go by SO fast. You'll miss it!
Here's how I broke the habit... I would lay him down awake, let him fuss, then when it turned into a full cry I would go pick him up until he settled down then start over again. The key for me was putting him down awake. Then when he woke up after his 1st phase of sleep he knew how to put himself back to sleep. Make sense? It takes a while and a few frustrating days but it is really worth it. All babies wake up during naps and at night, it's the ones who know how to go back to sleep that make happy parents! Good luck.
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